Fear When Educating, Is It Effective?

Fear of education has been used for decades as a common form of teaching. The idea of ​​the obedient and docile child has not lost its validity in our days. However, contrary to what most might believe, obedience based on severity does not guarantee your success.

Fear and severity override the child’s personality and make him insecure and unhappy. The little one will feel unable to take on challenges or take initiatives, which will end up lowering their self-esteem. Because a happy child is not only one who laughs, but one who is motivated to explore, ask questions, and satisfy his curiosity without the fear of doing something wrong.

On the other hand, fear is an emotion that is very difficult to vent. Perhaps he expresses it as a form of aggression towards others or towards himself. In any case, a person who has been inoculated with fear since childhood is usually an adult full of resentment and fear. And even obsessions and phobias.

Avoid applying fear when educating

Although all parents dream of having children who are well educated and obey the rules, we must avoid harsh and contemptuous education. Threatening your child with psychological or physical punishment only serves to override his judgment. And this is what Jorge Luis Ferrari points out in his book Educate without violence .

Applying fear when educating will transform the child into an adult incapable of making decisions for himself. It must be taught with love. Building your child’s confidence from a very young age is vitally important. Thus, it will strengthen capacities and abilities that will allow a correct future development.

If you are one of the parents who consider that obedience is synonymous with respect, you should know that it is not true. An obedient person is not necessarily respectful. However, obedience that is born of understanding is a very healthy way to promote family and social coexistence.

The child must be very clear about the benefits of following certain rules or guidelines. When it is not clear, the little one will want to go beyond the norms to prove himself. It’s right there when you should avoid yelling or threatening him.

Recommendations to educate your child in love and trust

When we begin in the education of our children, we try to instill behaviors that, in general, are based on our own upbringing. However, we must strive to apply to each rule all the tenderness, affection and understanding that our children need.

Here are some recommendations that will serve as a basis for educating your little one in love and trust.

Clearly set limits to educate without fear

It is important to establish rules of family life, but they must be clear and simple. The rules could be, for example, to limit the number of hours per day that your little one can watch television or his access to surf the internet.

Explain the consequences of ignoring the rules, but don’t fall for threats, yelling, or intimidating behavior. In this way, the child will learn to organize his time and take responsibility for his behavior. Your children will understand the rules better if they are stated clearly, concisely, and simply. This is what promotes parenting or positive discipline. And this is evidenced by this study published in Psychological Sciences .

Be a role model for how to do it right

It is important to be clear that the best way to educate is by example. Parents are the best model children have to determine how they should behave in family and in society.

If you try to instill in them a behavior that you violate yourself, they will not understand why they should comply with it. We could take foul language as an example. If children are to use appropriate vocabulary, parents must use it as well.

Impart responsibilities

Depending on the age of your child, it is essential to instill certain responsibilities. This will help you build your autonomy and confidence, which will benefit your growth. In this way, the child will form his own criteria about what is good and what is bad, and will recognize if he is fulfilling the responsibility entrusted.

In this case, you should not encourage fear when educating your child. On the contrary, take advantage and talk to him about ethics and other values. This will allow him to properly recognize his mistakes and take the consequences, which should not be punishments that promote fear in the child.

About fear when educating

Nobody said that educating a child is a simple task. However, sanction-based parenting keeps the little one focused only on outward recognition.

The main objective of avoiding fear when educating is to develop in your child the ability to understand the way forward. The sooner reflective and conscious behavior is reinforced in the child, the more he will learn and enjoy the learning process and its implicit development.