I Love You, But I Don’t Need You
Although I love you, I do not need you to be happy, or to live. I know this is a deeply held belief, synonymous with love. However, today I know that I can be fine without you.
For better and for worse, movies, culture and society have installed in our minds the idea of a romantic love, in which one (or both) members of the relationship say phrases such as “I can’t live without you” and They develop a style of attachment that, although it seems beautiful from the outside, on the inside is a rocky path of suffering and little personal growth.
Loving should be a force that makes us feel happy, strong, able to grow (both individually and as a couple), and to live fully.
I don’t need you to live
There is the idea that love implies suffering. However, this is a big lie. The problem is given by all the steps we take and that have a lot to do with the famous “I don’t know how to live without you.”
The fear of being alone and feeling like failures in the field of love causes that, sometimes, we do not choose our partners well. It may happen that we go with the first person who listens to us. And here emotional dependence can occur.
This also leads to uniting one relationship with another, because that feeling that no one loves us causes us great anxiety that we solve by being in a relationship.
However, all this makes one thing clear: the love that is lived is not real. How could this be solved? Avoiding falling into the following mistakes.
The idealization of the couple
Have you ever wondered why everything is beautiful at the beginning of relationships and then all of this falls apart?
However, this causes that love is not real from the beginning. Since we have put on glasses to see only what interests us. Perhaps this is due to emotional deficiencies that encourage us to look and value only what we need.
Low self esteem
The need to have a partner can cause low self-esteem that affects you in various areas of your life.
We put this need that corrodes us as something indispensable. The main of our goals. The one that, if we don’t succeed, causes our whole world to collapse.
Our world revolves around the perfect, ideal relationship. If this goes wrong, failure takes hold of us and our self-esteem plummets. Falling in love is for people with low self-esteem something that absorbs them, in which you have to give all the good of yourself without conditions and risk being hurt a lot.
People like this are not capable of setting limits and this causes them to suffer a lot in love relationships.
Having a partner isn’t everything, that’s why I don’t need you
Although we are aware that having a partner is not everything, this is a belief that is deeply installed in our mind that invites us to make the aforementioned mistakes.
You can live perfectly without someone by your side. What’s more, all those people who have never had the opportunity to be without a partner should take advantage of it if they ever find themselves in that situation.
More than anything because when you are alone you learn not to need. You know yourself and you reflect on that relationship that has just ended. In this way you manage to mature. And know what you liked and what you did not like about your relationship so that the next one that arises is much better.
Doing this can be very positive. But the need to have a partner often clouds our vision and causes us not to appreciate that moment in which we do not have to think more than ourselves. Only then will you be aware that you can love without having to need the other person.
Have you ever given yourself the possibility of being without a partner? Are you afraid of being alone? If our life depends on having someone by our side, we can never feel completely happy.
Because you will be failing, you will be forgetting about yourself and this is the worst mistake you can make. The only person who will always be with you is yourself. Stop ignoring yourself and start loving yourself.
